An update from Jane - Diary 4.4.2020

Posted by Jane PARADIS on

Diary Installment 7: an optimistic person, a small businesses, and a mom. This is my diary of sharing, in hopes that we create a sense of community and stick together through this unimaginable time.

Hello everyone! OK OK every time I send out a blog post I get a nervous call from my mother-in-law. It may be the way I write this diary, that seems like I am sad or really struggling? I am ok. I think I’m “as ok” as everyone else in a time filled with ups and downs. I was nervous to write this entry because honestly, I am feeling one of those downs but I don’t want anyone to worry. OK Mom and Lori? I also realize that any of my challenges pale in comparison to those who have lost and those on the front lines.

So why am I so down today? I’m just missing so much! When I left my job at Lilly years ago I had been rushing to work every morning, outsourcing childcare…and when I started my own business it was my GREATEST JOY to make my daughter Tiki breakfast and drive her to school. I felt as though I had missed out on it for her whole life and I got to do it for the first time when she was 12! Until a few weeks ago it was still one of my greatest joys. I wake up, make eggs or oatmeal. Some raspberries for a treat. I have coffee while she eats and we chat a little. We hop in the car always a few minutes late. Listen to the country music station on the way to school and play the “Are you Smarter than Andy” trivia quiz the station always plays at 8:20am. It was my favorite! And then more recently, I was off to our new Jane Winchester office to see our first full time employee and our part-timer – who I adore. I think I am just really missing those things. The happiness that they brought me. Normally I would say I didn’t appreciate what I had and now I do – but I DID APPRECIATE IT, I loved loved loved it and would tell everyone. My husband would say, you don’t have to do this whole breakfast thing and I thought he was crazy – I adored it. And now I miss it. A lot. For a few weeks sheltering at home thing was novel and we were adjusting, but now I recognize that I really miss it and it’s making me sad.

So, I thought I’d make a list of what makes me happy:

Planning new recipes and cooking for our family at night really makes me happy. We celebrate both Passover and Easter in our house and I am looking forward to making Matzo Ball soup. Like…really looking forward to it! Is that weird?!?!

Exercising – I may not always want to do it, this is the kind of ‘pay it forward happy’. It lifts my mood. I have found that as we settle into this house arrest and I feel some of the sadness, I am LESS motivated. Why the heck is that? I want to hide not just at home but in my BED. So I make myself exercise and then I get the happy afterward 😊.

Kind along the same line – coffee makes me happy. Abnormally so. Any kind of day. Easy, cheap pick-me-up.

This sounds stupid but when I have my nails painted, I feel a little better. And I’ll take that!

Organizing: closets, the laundry room, my desk – having stuff in order and cleaned out…makes me feel better. NOT CLEANING…like cleaning the bathroom – that does not make me feel good lol – it’s the organization and getting rid of things we don’t need.

I love wrapping and shipping boxes for Jane Winchester. If things do not work out with JW I would like to be a full-time gift wrapper.

I love to write a note and package each piece…pretty box with a bow. It is calming to me and I feel good about making each one special.

That leads me to… SHOOT, shopping makes me feel a bit better. I have been very conservative with spending but gave myself permission to go a little crazy with Easter baskets. Like…Easter is the new Christmas. I ordered online, I tried to order form LOCAL shops wherever I could…but I got a bunch of fun things. I don’t think the kids really care about getting things, but I love to think about them and choose gifts I think they will love.

The other day my daughter Sabrina said that she was feeling really happy. And I said – why?!? We are in lockdown and it stinks! She said “I am going to remember the things that make me happy so I can use them as a tool when I’m feeling sad.” I swear this girl is wise beyond her years. If you have time, think of 3ish things that make you happy so you can pull them out if you are feeling down.

PS: I wrote this Friday morning when missing the morning routine. I am sending this Saturday and I already feel better, not in a sad space. So. The roller coaster continues. Stay safe and stay home.

Sending tons of love,

xx Jane

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